This past weekend I met up with my mentee to help her map out a plan for her life and start to figure out what she needs to do now that she has a job.
She's in her early twenties, recent college grad and trying to figure out how to adult in life when everything seems so hard.
She's not alone. I'm still trying to figure out how to be an adult too and I'm in my 30's. lol
However, I remember when I was in my 20's, being in a very similar emotional and mental space and having no clue where to even begin.
I had just graduated from undergrad and nobody wanted to hire me because I had no experience in the field I was applying for. I thought that I would land a "good" job and make a boat load of money right after I graduated college. That's the dream I was sold.
Well, that never happened and more importantly, I had no idea what I really wanted to do I just knew I needed to make money to start paying back my student loans.
If you’re anything like me then maybe you too followed the cookie cutter plan that society lays out for everyone as if we’re all supposed to fit in a box.
- Graduate high school
- Go to college
- Get a good job
- Marry and have kids
- Work for 40+
- Retire and live life
I followed this plan almost to a T and was very unhappy because deep in my heart this wasn't the life I wanted. I was just following someone else's path in life due to my lack of clarity and purpose.
what is purpose
My mentee and I are chatting outside of Starbucks enjoying the beautiful warm summer day and she asked me the question which is the very reason I wrote this post.
“How did you figure out your purpose?”
She said she hears people talk about being in their purpose all the time and doing work that they feel called to. She asked "How do you know what “it” is? What if you have no idea where to even begin with looking for it?"
I started repeating everything I knew to be true about purpose and after 5-minutes of rambling, I knew it sounded like fluff to a twenty-two-year-old. So I stopped talking and laughed at myself.
I remember I felt this exact same way years ago. I heard Oprah, Iyanla and even Elizabeth Gilbert talk about purpose and I wanted to know mine so bad. I wanted to experience what they said made the hair on their arms stand up or it woke them up in the wee hours of the morning.
I felt like when I figured out what my purpose was my life would have meaning and then life would be great because I would know my reason for being.
I journaled for years begging God to tell me what was the purpose for my life and why was I here on Earth. And for years I got absolutely nothing and I thought that somehow the magic fairy dust that apparently everybody else must have had, skipped me.
Then it hit me and this is what I shared with my mentee. What I know for sure about purpose is that you first have to heal from whatever has been keeping you stuck and preventing you from moving forward in your life.
I also told her purpose is the reason you were created or why you exist. Whether you believe it or not every single person on earth has a reason for being and there’s a calling on your life. Your purpose will push you to serve others in some kind of way.
what i know for sure
This is my truth… I was begging to know my purpose but God wouldn’t reveal it to me because I hadn’t healed from my past yet. I carried a lot of pain due to my mother abandoning me when I was a child and I was prematurely asking for something I wasn't ready for.
After completing small group counseling my life started to shift and what I had been asking God for I then knew had been in me all along but my pain had been overshadowing my vision.
Once I started my self-healing journey my purpose became more clear to me as I got to know myself. I let go of what had been holding me back and I started having a deeper connection with God. It took a long time but I am 100% positive that my purpose is to be a light and empower others to be free.
- I started healing through journaling and at times I felt such a deep connection with my words and I knew a part of my purpose was to be a light.
- Naturally, I am a helper, connector, motivator and I've always had positive vibes that attract people to me.
Every time I start to second guess myself and wonder if I am doing the right thing without fail, the Universe sends me confirmation through other people affirming I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
Being clear about my purpose led me to launch BeFree Project, which my whole mission is to teach women how to get unstuck, gain clarity and cultivate the life you want on your terms.
I am a firm believer that in order to know your purpose you first need to heal from anything that’s causing you to feel stuck. I shared all this with my mentee, I saw her taking notes and I asked her did that make sense.
She smiled and said yes. This is what I know to be true about purpose. I am not saying this is true for everyone this is just how I feel.
3 Simple Things You Can Do To Figure Out Your Calling (Purpose)
- Do the inner work. Start to connect with yourself on a deeper level. Don’t compare your life to others we’re all here for a different reason and it’s up to you to figure out your purpose.
- Get silent and listen to your intuition. What you’ve been searching for is already in you, silence the noise and take a moment to just be.
- Get creative. Make a vision board and cut out pictures that you feel connected to. Don’t stop there take time to journal why you desire what you put on your board and see where that leads you.