Several years ago I was in a funk and I felt stuck just going through the motions day in and day out. I can't tell you exactly how and when it happened I just knew my life felt like blah and I wasn't sure what needed to change.
I was disappointed with myself because this wasn't the plan I had for my life. I was supposed to be successful and living the American Dream and I guess by societies standards I was living it. Well then why did I feel like something was missing?
I was happily married with two beautiful children, we had recently purchased our first home and I had a "good" job making "good" money. I had crossed everything off my mental to-do checklist. But yet I still felt like there was something missing and I yearned for more.
Discovering What More Is
I had been working at my job for almost seven years before everyone at the company was permanently laid off. I wasn’t happy at my job, but I wasn’t necessarily ready to be let go either. I was comfortable, it paid the bills, and provided for my family so being jobless wasn’t something I was expecting or looking forward to.
Here I was in my early-thirties and internally still asking myself what did I want to be when I grew up.
Prior to getting laid off, I started feeling like I had lost a part of myself after I became a wife and mother. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember what made me come alive or what I was deeply passionate about.
This new change in my life granted me time to rediscover who I was outside of the roles that I had become.
Where Did I Begin
I started journaling and asking myself questions that would help me get to know who I was and who I wanted to become. Below are few of the questions I started with… (you can find all 40 writing prompts in the Free Your Mind Journal)
What do I really want to be when I grow up?
What makes me smile from the inside out?
What can I see myself doing for the rest of my life even if I had to do it for free?
As I wrote my answers down on paper, a part of me began to light up inside because there were things that came up that I had suppressed and hadn't thought about in a very long time. I started getting clear on what mattered most to me and I gave myself permission to be 100% honestly without having mommy-guilt.
Looking back getting laid off was the best thing that could have happened for me because it pushed me to step on my own and do work that made me come alive and feel free.
After Clarity Comes Action
Getting to know the new me and figuring out who I wanted to become has been quite an experience. Honestly, I believe that the journey is ongoing and I will always be in a space of learning more about myself as I continue to grow and evolve.
When I began my path of transformation, I watched a lot of Oprah’s Masterclasses and read tons of self-help books. One book in particular that really opened my eyes was Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.
That book was my light bulb moment because I realized that my feelings were valid and I wasn’t the only one who had felt like my life didn’t have meaning or purpose.
According to the author, she was supposedly living a “good” life but yet she too felt a void inside. She decided that she wouldn't settle for living a life without purpose so she went on a self-discovery journey and visited three countries to learn more about her self.
This book inspired inspired me to explore what my purpose in life was however, I wouldn’t be traveling around the world. I gave myself permission to press an internal reset button and start over so I could begin to feel good about every area of my life.
After reading Eat, Pray, Love, I went down a rabbit hole and read every self-help book that I could get my hands on. One thing that kept coming up in every book is that it takes hard work to change your life and no matter what you cannot give up on yourself.
I also started listening to podcasts about personal growth and watching motivational speakers on YouTube. I was consuming a lot of information and being intentional about applying what I was learning.
Slowly I began to make progress moving forward, and I felt optimistic about the direction my life was going in.
One Thing That I’ve Noticed
I’ve coached hundreds of women worldwide and what I've noticed is that women in their early thirties and beyond, have a desire to be free and feel fulfilled in their life.
They feel like something is missing and they want their life to have a deeper meaning.
They want to be in purpose, something bigger than being in a relationship, having children or moving up the corporate ladder.
We all want more. We want to leave a legacy behind. According to Jill Scott, we need to live our life like it's golden.
My life changed for the better when I started meditating, reciting affirmations, exercising and surrounding myself with like-minded people.
I was doing the self-work and as result of showing up for myself, I got crystal clear about what I truly wanted for my life.
I discovered that purpose was to be a light and empower others to be free. The only way I was able to figure this out was because I went to therapy and I took the time to discover what made me come alive and brought me pure joy.
BeFree Project was birthed because I started teaching what I was learning and I’ve been able to reach thousands of women worldwide through coaching, speaking, my podcast, social media and at events.
What I Wish I Had When I Started
When I was just getting started with doing the inner work, I would spend countless hours trying to find resources to help me with making positive changes in my life.
Google and YouTube became my best friends and I often thought to myself why can't there be a go-to resource that had everything I needed in one place.
I'm sure you heard the quote, "create what you wish existed" so that's exactly what I've done for you.
I get asked all the time by women what podcast to listen to, what book to read, or what app am I using for personal growth.
I love sharing what has helped me change my life, so I thought I would save you hours of your precious time by putting together over 101 resources every woman needs to change her life.
I created this resource guide to save you time by putting everything that I wish I had in one place when I felt stuck in my life and the best part, it's free.
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